changing definitions

way back, decades ago, 'she' was just another eager -eyed, gawky college girl, in awe of the literary heavyweights that were her subject curriculum. hours were spent in the classroom and the library pouring over books by literary critics. and it was always a rush for bookings for any new book written by literary critics that were periodically issued in the college library.
literature and more so, poetry was a hallowed subject that elicited awe and inspiration for the poets throughout the ages. as students of literature we couldn't mess around with the existing definitions of style. line syllable, alliteration. all we were allowed was to memorise the lines of poems, the names of various critics and their quotes. these were the factors that would elicit a positive response from our professors during the examinations.
and then came the time for us to step into the world of marriage, children, obligations, jobs.
literature and poetry was delegated to the recesses of our inner hearts.
whenever i came across a poem or interesting lines, it stirred deep emotions. this was apart from the mild escapades i had into the world of writing by way of articles and of course my poems which never saw the light of day.
was it humility or diffidence that stopped me from publishing my own little book of poems?
i will never know. what i do know was that there is a poet in all of us, whether we express it or not. some of us have the gift of expression and for the rest of us it will always be an echo of our emotion when it is given the gift of expression by someone else.
recently, an incident drove home a reminder about the passage of time and changing definitions that come along with it! i happened to visit my favourite home linen store and there was a poetry reading going on in a corner of the store. the confidence of the writer took me by surprise as she read about her missing something as inane as her mom's fish curry!
and here i stood thinking poetry was all about finer emtions, romance?! definitins had changed and how!

x'mas gift

this was during the last christmas season.
being an avid plant lover, i pick up my favourite plants from my local nursery quite often, and, last year i saw this bright red poinsettia smiling at me. the call was irresistible and i picked up two saplings.
to me buying those plants was the summation of a childhood fantasy about christmas when santa claus was alien to our home, when we didn't have a x'mas tree and when red poinsettias sprinkled with gold dust on greeting cards was the sole reminder of the season of cheer and good will.

and last year, as december gave way to january and then the month of march blew in with a scorching summer, the red leaves of my poinsettia plant turned green and it was relegated to a shady corner. the months sped by, other plants came in josling for space on my terrace.

the year had flown and it was again that time of the year, so fast, so soon: it was december. this year at home, we went the whole hog about the festive season: in a matter of two hours, a five feet tall christmas tree with winking lights, baubles was put up in a corner of the living room. there was a rush to get gifts for family, friends. there was a frantic search on the internet for a quick- soak fruit cake. the next day whizzed past with the baking as our nostrils were assailed with the aroma of the spices in the cake mix.

i hadn't realised it but the only missing item in that x'mas scene was a bright red poinsettia plant. suddenly i remembered and my mind rushed ahead as my feet scurried to the terrace. joy exploded in my veins as i turned to search for my neglected plant and i saw this beautful, perfect, red - centred leaves of my poinsettia plant smiling once again at me. to me it felt like a whole year hadn't sped by. the joy of friends dropping in, the joy of receiving gifts - nothing was as perfect as the beauty of that unexpected smile!
that moment was so precious, so like life: how we wait and dream for so much and how life passes us by as we wait to live those thoughts and dreams.i thought to myself that i had to make a conscious decision to be living than be just alive every day! ( i still have no answer as to why i could not have got these plants earlier.)

my first day!

ok, here goes!
it's amazing or is it funny how we grapple huge losses and heartbreaks inside of us and yet how we tremble when we have to put all those emotions on display? as humans we tend to have this amazing flair for verbalising the inane and internalising the profound!
one wonders whether there is some kind of statistics available on this phenomenon. and it's not as if we are devastated when some of our closely guarded and confided emotions do make the rounds in our personal circles! we then realise, 'o.k, it wasn't so bad after all ,now that most of them do know, the earth still spins on its axis, the moon still waxes and wanes!' life goes on, so does everything around us!
what does change in this nature's permanent backdrop is our changing fortunes and feelings.it doesn't help either knowing the whole human race is not exempted from these feelings. i once remember seeing this scene in some movie about some guy who stands in the street and just keeps telling all the passers-by that his father is no more and they are so full of their own thoughts that they make a random and cursory ,irrelevant reply and walk on!
is it etiquette, conditioning,inhibition or a combination of all these that makes some of the world's population so tongue- tied?